lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize