pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I just forgot I was standing up.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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