Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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