I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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