the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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