if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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