perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
