I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
Randomize
