The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
That reminds me...we need to get swords
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
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