Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
