Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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