Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
