i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
