:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
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