I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
