hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
