I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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