I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
