There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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