Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
