Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
