Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
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