You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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