my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
i drank out of a bidet.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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