i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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