playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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