someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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