that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
