Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
