no, he came in my armpit
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Randomize
