I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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