k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
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