Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Randomize
