dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
