Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I feel great
I just peed on a car
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Randomize
