But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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