Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
The power of my boobs compel you
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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