I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
and she was petting her beer can
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
