Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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