maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
