"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Do vagina's smell?
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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