She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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