From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
