You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
