whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
