Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
