Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I woke up to a text that said, "I can see you but can't get in." It was the pizza delivery guy who saw me passed out drunk on the floor through the front door.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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