but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
