...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
