Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
In other news, I just burned my penis
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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