My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
