he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
