I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
