If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize