Christians are straight up FREAKS
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
