Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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