We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
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