Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
IM A SHIT SUOW THE GUYS AT THE PMACR TOLD ME AJDBO I WEBF RO WALNARY WITH OU SHOES! I WASHT LLOWES FLOWERSA
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
It's not a walk of shame if you run
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