if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
